Following my dreams
From the age of 15, I had a dream: to work with horses. I achieved this at 17, but then I realized I could go even further. So, I found the only bachelor’s degree in Europe for this field, located in Velp, a village in the Netherlands. At the age of 18, I moved there, and that is how I found myself in the Netherlands.
I was 19 years old. It was almost summer when I suddenly received a call from my mother. In ten days, she would have surgery on the front of her head. She had just been diagnosed with a benign tumor. She said it would be a routine surgery. However, I had a very bad feeling about it.
Not MY mom
On the day of the surgery, my dad called me. “Start praying,” he said, “your mom is not doing well.” All these thoughts came immediately to mind: “I cannot live without her, not MY mom, no, I can’t.” I broke. I booked the first flight to Greece. I found all my family on their knees praying. They were exhausted and torn apart. The doctors didn’t give it much chance. After about three days, she was diagnosed with brain death. A thrombosis had formed, preventing blood flow to the brain. In most cases, that was irreversible, they said.
Our only hope was God
We were hoping for a miracle, because both my family and the doctors knew it was the only way. Over the next 30 days, my family and I went to different shrines. We were blessed to meet many spiritually enlightened people who gave us a lot of strength. We met a nun who explained what death is in Orthodoxy: Death by Christ is life; it is resurrection. And life with God equals brightness, love, and happiness. But still, how could I be okay with my mother dying, even if that meant she was going to be okay? Because that was what was asked of us.
Nevertheless, in the last five days before she died, I trusted God’s plan. Instead of praying and saying “God, give her back to us”, I was saying: “Let Your will be done.” I knew He knows better, and He would do whatever was best for her and for us too. And that is exactly what happened.
She is still next to me
My mother passed away. It was, and still is, very hard to deal with that loss. However, there is also something sweet, beautiful, and unique about it. I try not to feel sorry or sad for her, because I know she is better where she is now. Many times I miss her, but then I remind myself she is still next to me. I am not going to say that I don’t cry or don’t despair at times, because I do. But through God, I always find a way to stand back up, look at the sky, say “thank you” and trust His will.