I was born and brought up in the south of India, where I also completed my education up to my bachelor’s degree. In my early twenties, after graduating, life didn’t unfold the way I had imagined. I prepared for multiple national-level competitive exams for government jobs, believing job stability was something I had to earn at any cost. Years passed, through uncertainty and setbacks. I didn’t secure the position I once imagined for myself, but I did clear an examination where less than one percent of candidates succeeded. I was eventually joining the Ministry of Defence, a moment shaped more by endurance than celebration.
But deep inside, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled. I wanted something bigger, something that truly felt mine. Just when life began to feel steady, everything changed.
In 2021, I got married to my long-time boyfriend from India, who had already been living in Germany for three years. I quit my job and left my home country and moved to Germany in 2022. It was supposed to be a beautiful new beginning, but instead, it often felt overwhelming. I was in a new country, a new marriage, and an unfamiliar environment. Although things were great with my husband, there were many dark evenings when I cried out loud, missing the comfort of home, the life I had there, and my parents whom I used to see several times a year. Our communication shifted to video calls and suddenly they were worlds away.
As I entered my thirties, my body and emotions began changing too. PMS intensified, I gained weight, and my gynaecological health worsened. I felt disconnected from myself, both physically and emotionally. Yet, in just one year, I achieved my dream of completing an MBA in International Business Management. It made me proud, but after graduation the structure of student life vanished, and I felt myself slipping back into emptiness.
Along with my husband, I have also been traveling through Europe, to France, Italy, Belgium, the Netherlands, and many more places. Each journey brought fresh perspectives and moments of joy. Yet on difficult days, I forgot these experiences quickly, overshadowed by heavier emotions. This made me realize that I needed more than distractions; I needed a foundation.
So I created a routine to heal myself. I began learning about nutrition and how conscious eating affects both body and mind. I became curious about psychology and studied cognitive and behavioral patterns. Through studying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I began to understand why I reacted the way I did – the self-sabotage, and the sadness that shaped my habits. I wanted to reshape my mind and rebuild my inner strength.
I resumed training regularly, choosing multiple activities like pilates, dance, yoga, strength training, so that my routine never felt monotonous. Slowly, I began reconnecting with myself. I also picked up a side hustle in the form of modelling as parttime, and started going for some photoshoots.
Life here in Germany has also given me many benefits: the freedom to explore different cultures, the opportunity to study, and the space to rediscover myself. At the same time, I have faced challenges like adapting to a new environment, rebuilding my confidence, and finding my place professionally. Learning the language has made the biggest difference; it changed how people interact with me and how easily I can integrate into daily life. Now that I can communicate better, I finally feel ready to apply for jobs and build a career here.
I know many people experience unfair treatment, both in Germany and the Netherlands, but personally, I have been fortunate and have not faced much discrimination. Most people I met are warm and communication became fluent and easy. In my case, learning the language has opened doors, softened perceptions, and made life here more accessible.
For the first time, I’m no longer chasing achievements just to feel worthy. Getting a job will help me build stability, but it won’t define me. I’ve learned that peace doesn’t come from reaching a destination; it comes from finding balance while life keeps changing.
I arrived in Germany feeling strong, became vulnerable in ways I never expected, and now I’m learning to rediscover myself in this new world. Life isn’t perfect – I still haven’t found the right job, and some emotions are still settling, but I feel lighter, more grounded, and closer to becoming the person I want to be.